Hello, CharRon 4.5!!

So, you made it. Congratulations! This is the previous version: CharRon 4.4. I can see a big difference in you. But, I have done several impressive things since We moved to Grass Valley:

  • I worked on my musicianship skills with drums and piano.
  • I actually did comedy on stage.
  • I am the Vice-president of Sacramento Poetry Center.
  • I reconnected with my family and friends.
  • I engineered a show at the Capitol building of California.
  • I took a dump on the Capitol building.
  • I spent a lot of time in Brutte County.
  • I have been to the city of Paradise.
  • I Deejayed shows during the pandemic.
  • I Deejayed a Radio show.
  • I am a podcast producer.
  • I co-host on another podcast.
  • A Serious Production reports an increase in profits.
  • I did a Keynote presentation to educate children about Poetry using Hip-hop and got paid for it.
  • I was a paid Lab Technician for Durham School.

I still smile when I think about what I have accomplished in 2021. Can you believe it? I am impressed.

There were a few failures: Mulitiple affairs ended and almost ended a great relationship but terminated friendships with wonderful women. Plus, it opened a lot of issues that I haven’t concluded. No savings while on unemployment. So, the bank accounts are somewhat bare, Sorry. The pandemic was a wake-up call. So, wake up! This is your time. You are better now but it still bothers us.

CharRon, You are a powerful individual who is bound for greatness. But, you have to believe it like mom believe in God. You are doing something that most people don’t do. So, evolve with it . Let the pandemic be your turning point. You are CharRon 4.5. So, here is a 2022 Task List:

  • Create, record, and distribute a song
  • Get on the radio again.
  • Evolve in your business
  • Be involved in your relationship with Bec.
  • Help Sacramento Poetry Center get back into the poetry community.
  • Be more involved in your kids lives
  • Play keys and drums on stage.
  • More exercise
  • Work on your credit.
  • Get a van or SUV.
  • Stress less
  • Make a ruckus.

So, what will 2022 be like? Your guess is as good as mine. But that is the joy and fear of the unknown. You have the power to change our future with family and fortune. Time is a commodity that we take for granted. So, do that. The business is our baby. A Serious Production is going to become a powerhouse. You just need to understand the business and it will grow with you.

Bec want to understand you but you have to let her in. She is in a fragile state and these past discretion have put her on the fence. So you have to reassure her. She has done a lot in relationships. So you need to be honest because she deserves that.

Understand. you are suppose to win and learn. So, let’s do that. Here are the keys. Happy 45th birthday, CharRon. As, CharRon 3.9 said “it is your time to shine.” Let’s makes that happen.

Ode to my life (Day 7)

I was born a son that became a brother.
A soldier who became a College graduate; twice
a boyfriend/lover that turn into a father; twice.
But missed the role of husband; shame.


a high school basketball player(center); 1 season
Tae Kwon Do student(Blue Belt); fought a Korean boxer and got silver.
wrestling champion (bronze); never got the medal they owed me.

5k color runner(twice); never ran a marathon.


When I was young I like poetry but, it wasn’t hip-hop.
So, I became an emcee with no DJ.
So, I became a DJ without a studio.
So, I became an engineer but they needed music.
So, I became a producer but didn’t play an instrument.
So, I became a musician
and threw it all away to be a poet.

Day 25: My Picture Folder

My computer can lose everything except: My Picture folder
Nestled on my desktop screen,
My Pictures folder is my little large gallery.
A gallery of a scattered past:

My father’s last photo
My first child’s confused look at a camera
My second child’s confused look at me
My brothers’ nights out
My self-portraits
My self-portraits

You don’t realize how much change
until gleams at your former self.
Face is still there
Blemishes & lines are new.

I become Alice
step into imagery Wonderland
And be lost for hours
Some pictures hurt
Some pictures heal
But a white rabbit will remind me
it’s time.

Closing time to the past once again.
Close the folder & be present once more.

Day 16 – Letter to the father (sonnet)

Dear Dad,
Your life on this earth is missed
My mind is left to reminisce
Your life resembles a play
And it’s shown by Grandma’s dismay

Her words strike my confidence
That I lost my common sense
A coward who didn’t interfere?
That your grave is buried somewhere

Is this how my kids will leave me?
The truth will likely scare me
I don’t entertain this picture.
Somedays, I wish I had a sister.

A grandfather to others but, not to mine
God, why couldn’t you give him more time?

Miss you,

CHARRON

Day 11: I exist, Why? (Bop)

I was born with the blood of a serpent’s poison

Hazmat suits were administer to keep their distance

Given two blood transfusion in a capsule home

My mom’s birthday present was in Intensive Care alone.

First five days of living & this is what I get

If God loves his children, then consider him a hypocrite

 

I wasn’t supposed to be here.


Survived as a toddler with a few tumbles

Left by my father so here comes the struggle

Society little problem graduates every year

See my degrees, a professional is here.

The Military had my life on stilts

And civilian life is still difficult

 

I wasn’t suppose to be here


So I have 2 children from 2 different women  

My life at 40 is in a weird transition 

I attempt new things so I will never be bored

I accept the risk so I’ll never go poor

So to win at life, let’s be clear

I do everything now to tell the world why:

I am suppose to be here.

Day 10 – Two children


Two children
Two mothers
Two families
One link

They live two different lives in one time
Only seeing the other in one moment
They don’t understand
why they need to know each other.

Two ages
Two cities
Two houses
One choice

Her ponytails and brash attitude.
A born leader
Born a single child.
Older than her young cousins
She follows a beat to a different drum

His curly hair is as wild as his spirit.
With Emerald eyes that reveal he is special.
New to this world, his family will be his foundation rock as he builds his life.

Two decisions
Two fates
Too young
One father

They are young and strong.
With an ambition
that’ll never steer them wrong.
Now, our family picture
Reminds me that we are one.

The Holidays (for Loners & Soldiers)

Soldier’s Mentality

I considered myself lucky. The soldier life has taught me about camaraderie and  appreciate my collection of friends and loved ones. Yet, even I have fallen victim to solitude for the holidays. The lonely feeling still remains, even though, the trainings and battles are behind me. So, I still carry a soldier’s mentality for the holidays: 1) Appreciate it with loved ones and family. and/or 2) Create new traditions while being solo. These ideas helped me survive those lonely hard times during the holiday.

Continue reading “The Holidays (for Loners & Soldiers)”